#123 In the summer
… I’ll be a puddle…
In the summer, I’ll be a puddle.
And honestly… I am looking forward to enjoy the stillness of being a creature who enjoys the present moment…
How about you? Any plans you get excited for?
Hi, love!
It’s graduation time.
…that beautiful, bittersweet time of the year when we give awards for good behavior, high performance, and acknowledgments for trying to be the best.
Caps fly. Tears fall. Parents cry louder than the graduates. Everyone wants to be done with it and taking off for a fun, free, adventurous summer… to feel the feeling of ultimate freedom… the enjoyment of the present moment so alive that there is no need to post it.. but truly taking it in for the memorabilia of a life worth living.
Because for me… the moment I reach for my phone, I feel like I trade my presence in my life for a scripted screenplay… and that takes me out of a live moment into a performing version of life.
And I am done performing. This summer, I choose to live the moment.
I am an observer, but I enjoy witnessing life unfolding with flowers, beauty, love, and all…
And yet… I also sit with a quiet question that keeps rising in me every single year when this season comes around:
Is it just me… or are we teaching our children an unhealthy kind of competition?
Think about it. From the very beginning, school sorts children. The A students. The B students. The ones who sit still and the ones who cannot. The ones who test well and the ones whose brilliance is harder to see by regular teachers of life.
We hand out gold stars to the ones who perform. We call them gifted. We put their names on the honor roll. And the child sitting next to them, the one who stayed up all night trying, the one who has been carrying anxiety in their little body since birth, the one who is actually more emotionally intelligent than half the adults in the room, that child gets… a participation ribbon. If they are lucky.
I was always that child. The one who scored 9.95… or a minus 10… just enough to not shine too much.
And what do we teach students without meaning to? That worth is some sort of ranking? That love has conditions? That success looks like a number on a paper? That if not first, you must try harder next time… and maybe forever?
I cannot answer these questions. But I want you to have them in your awareness to help you be more gentle, more soft, and definitely more loving to your child.
Because I want us to also celebrate the child who did not win… but showed up. The one who tried with everything they had and placed last… and still smiled. The one who helped a classmate understand something, even if it cost them their own study time.The one who stayed by the side of a punished kids in recess.
…ahhh… that little Miha. Who did all of that… and still got the minus.
Life is funny. And you can make fun of me for being that child but I am proud of her. And that is all that matters.
I may have been cheated, fucked over most of the times I gave the best of me… but I would do it all over again. Because I love who I am when I give the best of my heart even when I know it might hurt. And now I know better: I know how to honor the part of me that enjoys the silent rewards instead of the social golden medals.
Given by who, anyway? Who decides who is the best?
Exactly. So what?!
What if the real graduation is learning to love oneself through all of it?
What if we teach children that cooperation is braver than competition? That knowing oneself is smarter than memorizing facts? That emotional intelligence, the ability to feel, to think, to speak up is most valuable skill they ever need in life?
And here is where it gets even deeper for me…
Because this is not just about school. This starts at home. In the family.
In family dynamics, we all come with different energetic designs. Each person in a family has different ways of thinking, feeling, deciding, loving, and expressing. And that is not a problem to fix. It is simply about recognizing the design… and allowing it to respond to life with mechanics directly related to universal intelligence.
We do not need to change each other. We need to see each other.
The mix of us is the beauty of life.
The quiet child and the loud one. The sensitive one and the strong one. The dreamer and the doer. The one who leads and the one who holds space. All of us, every single one, participates in a unique and irreplaceable way to the happiness of the whole.
When each person is free to express their own true self… when we are not forced into a mold that does not fit us… when we are seen and accepted exactly as we are… something beautiful happens. The whole family grows. The love expands. Not because everyone is the same, but because everyone is allowed to be different.
This is what Quantum Human Design has been teaching me. That the energetic type is not a label, an excuse, it is an invitation. An invitation to stop apologizing for how we are built and start celebrating it. Because our unique design is our contribution. It is our gift to the world.
The Manifestor who initiates and sometimes shocks everyone with a bold new idea is not disruption. It is leadership in its truest form.
The Generator who lights up when they say yes to what truly excites them is not selfishness. It’s life force.
The Projector who sees everyone so deeply and guides with quiet wisdom, is not weakness. It is a superpower we all benefit from.
The Reflector… the rarest and most precious of all, the one who holds space for everyone, mirrors the truth back to us, and tells us how we are really doing in the world.
We do not need to change each other. We need to see each other.-byMiha
When a family or a classroom allows each person to show up in their own design… with acceptance, with compassion, with authenticity… the love does not divide. It expands and becomes the whole point in life.
Self love builds family love. Family love builds the world.
All these makes me think of my favorite character ever: Olaf!
You know Olaf, right? The funniest, most innocent snowman in the history of snowmen… who truly, deeply, with his whole fluffy carrot-nosed heart… loves people, loves summer. His worst enemy. The very thing that would literally melt him into nothing he loves. So cute. So delusional. So completely unbothered by logic. So… me. I am that Olaf sometimes… falling in love with potential and getting excited for something that might not even be possible… I need to grow the seed of my wanted belief: that everything is possible! I am getting there.
Here is the thing about Olaf that gets me every time. He does not say “I love summer… but I probably shouldn’t. I mean, I am made of snow. It makes no sense. Let me be realistic.” No. He says: “I love warm hugs” but “Some people are worth melting for.” He dreams of lying on a hot sandy beach, sipping a cool drink, without a single worry about what the sun will do to his body.
He does not let what he is made of limit what he is allowed to love.
And I find that… deeply educational… a true coaching session for all of us!
I see myself as an Olaf. I might be cute? I know I am innocent!! And I am learning how to love my negative thoughts. The cold ones. The icy ones. The ones that show up heavy and gray and tell me I am too much, or not enough, or somewhere confusingly in between. Instead of fighting them, I am learning to look at them the way Olaf looks at summer: with wonder… with curiosity… with a smile that says oh hello, there you are again… you are kind of beautiful and.I choose to love myself anyway.
Something magical happens when I love the things that threaten to melt me…
I raise my energetic field to an automatic flow of what I lovingly call:
delusional happiness.
I am telling you… I am onto something.
Because just like Olaf dreams of sun and warm hugs while literally made of snow… I dream of melting into summer into stillness. Into that kind of softness that does not need to justify myself. Into grace that arrives not because I worked hard for it… but because I finally stopped working against it.
This summer, my biggest wish is simple:
To be a puddle. And to swim in my own stillness… a delusional happiness…
This summer I allow the grace of God to work His wonders… to bring amazing, unexpected experiences into my life. Travels are planned, yes… but not too strictly. Flexibility is the theme. Space for nice surprises is the prayer. This summer I want the unexpected, the high levels of excitement, joy, and bliss to take over me… and you can call me delusional… I still Love you.
I choose presence over performance.
How about you? Inspiring enough to get your high sort out?
A couple of years ago I wrote a post about graduation that I am actually really proud of. It came out so nicely, the words just flowed the way they do when something I wrote about I feel first. If you missed it, you find it here
Click to read post #84 Congratulations
And as for me this June… July.. August and so on… I will be showing up fully, warmly, and with zero apology.
I am stepping into a season of trust. Of receiving. Of letting life surprise me in the best possible ways.
Because here is what I keep learning in my coaching and in my re-parenting work:
Sometimes the most powerful thing I can do… is melt.
I stop trying so hard. I stop pushing upstream. I stop performing for the gold star that no one is actually handing out anymore.
I want to just… flow.
I want to be a puddle of a snowman who finally, joyfully, got his summer.
Happy June, love.
Happy graduation season.
Happy summer frequencies.
Let’s celebrate every child — including the one still living inside us, not for what we achieved… but for who we truly are.
That child deserves the five golden stars all along. Just for showing up exactly as we are.
… with big, warm, melting feelings,
Mihaela
… the one who is learning to love summer, one puddle at a time…
I LOVE YOU.